I'm sorry that I haven't written in a few days. You've been on my mind a lot, but for some reason, I just haven't had the words to write. Daddy told me that he was missing you today, so I know that you are on his mind too.
I got home from a business trip yesterday. I hadn't planned on traveling for work this year. I had planned on having a newborn at home. My plans are hardly recognizable these days. Like Robert Burns said, "The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry."
As I boarded the plane on Tuesday morning, I couldn't stop the tears from coming. They streamed down my face as we started taxing to the runway. The attendant dimmed the lights like they always do before takeoff, but the weirdest thing happened. Just as all the other lights on the plane went out, the lights above my seat came on. I tried and tried but couldn't get them to turn off. Since the attendant light was on, the flight attendant came over to see if I needed something. She didn't have any luck in getting the lights to turn off either. Any hint of mechanical or electrical problems would normally cause me anxiety, but I found the stubbornness of the light to be comforting. It was a reminder that there is a light in my life even on the darkest of days. "The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?" (Psalm 27:1)
The persistent light also reminded me of the first time I traveled for the job I'm in now. Sometime after college, I developed a serious anxiety about flying. I hadn't flown in a long time when I booked my first business trip for this job, and I was anxious for weeks after booking. The night before my flight, I barely slept. I boarded the plane sick with worry, and I prayed as hard as I could for God to protect me. I prayed that it would feel like Jesus was sitting beside me. I didn't mean it literally, but God must have taken it that way. On an otherwise full flight, the seat beside me remained empty that day. The same thing happened on my plane ride home a few days later. Sometimes God answers our prayers in an immediate and tangible way.
I've come to enjoy flying again in the last few years. Being thirty thousand feet in the air gives one an amazing view of God's creation, and I am always struck by its beauty. As I looked down at all the tiny houses and cars below me on Tuesday, I did something I've never thought to do before. I said a prayer for the people I was flying over. I prayed for those finding themselves brokenhearted in this season of life, for those feeling hopeless and tired, for those surrounded by darkness, and lastly, for those needing Jesus to fill an empty seat.
Love,
Mommy
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