Tonight I gave you the last kisses you'll receive before turning one year old. So many emotions are running through my mind as I type this letter to you. Happiness when I think about the moments we've spent together. Disbelief that time could have passed us by so quickly. Excitement for what the future holds for each of you. A little regret for the moments that passed while I was worrying about the dishes in the sink or responding to an email. A whole lot of grateful when I reflect on our story.
I knew that I wanted to be a mother from the time I was a little girl. My imagined grown-up life came complete with husband, a few kids, dog and a white picket fence. Like many young girls do, I remember thinking about how amazing it would be to have twins. Never in a million years is it a dream that I thought would come true. I most certainly couldn't have imagined the journey that it would take to get us here.
The last two and a half years have contained both the darkest and brightest moments in my life. Since losing your big brother Morris, I feel everything more deeply. It's both a blessing and a curse sometimes. I tell people often that your brother changed me in a profound way, and it's true. But I want you both to know that your arrival has changed me in an equally profound way. It is impossible to experience a love that knows no bounds without being different in some way. You have restored my hope and healed my heart more than you'll ever know.
Baylor, I adore your sweet smile. I love how your whole face lights up whenever we sing "If you're happy and you know it" or any other song for that matter. No matter what my day's been like on any given day, seeing you scoot my direction as fast as you can when you spot me walking through the door will always make me smile. I chuckle each time I see you tuck a toy under your arm and turn the other way to keep your brother from taking it. The desire you already show for independence is bittersweet, but is an answered prayer in some ways. Before I even knew if you would be a boy or a girl, I began praying for you. I prayed that Baby A (you) would be strong and courageous. Not strong in the physical sense, but in the sense that you would stand up for what you believed was right and that you would be an advocate and voice for others. When I watch you, I can't help but wonder if I'm already seeing the result of those prayers. I believe that you can change the world, and I can't wait to watch you take on that challenge.
Griffin, your adventurous spirit makes my heart happy. I love watching you figure out new things like how to climb or play peek-a-boo or make a new sound. Listening to you make truck noises as you play with your dump trucks and tractors on the floor and throwing a ball with you are some of my favorite things to do. I love watching you happily gobble down Grami's chicken pot pie all the while making "mmmm" noises to let us know how good it is. I enjoy seeing your special bond with Izzy and think it's cute that one of your favorite things to do is help take her outside each morning. I prayed for you before you were born too. And just like with your sister, I already see evidence of my prayers. I prayed that Baby B (you) would have a compassionate heart and empathy for others. I adore how every morning when Baylor finally wakes up, your face lights up as soon as you see her and many mornings you reach for her. And whenever you hear her crying, you immediately come to find out what is wrong. I know you'll always be her protector, and for that I am so grateful. I know that God will use the gifts he gave you in lots of other ways, and I'm excited to see all those ways.
Daddy and I always tell people just how blessed we are with the two of you. You are a perfect pair in every way. I've never known such happy babies, and on occasion I have stopped to wonder how we got so lucky. I have to believe that part of it is that you can tell just how loved you are, not only by Daddy and me, but by everyone who knows you. If I had to take a guess, I'd say the other part of it is prayer....so many prayers that I prayed and others prayed for joy to be restored to our family. You, my precious double rainbows, have brought nothing but joy.
Happy Birthday sweet little ones. I can't wait to spend another year watching you grow.
Love,
Mommy
Mommy's cheesy grin says it all..
It says that you two have brought her more happiness than you could possibly know!
