Our Pastor Todd gave a sermon once around James 5:16 which says in part, "The prayers of a righteous person is powerful and effective." That sermon and verse popped into my head this morning. Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. Early this morning as I gazed at your bother and sister and thought about you, I felt an overwhelming gratitude to the righteous people who prayed for us after your death. I am convinced that because of their prayers, we remember you in our hearts today while holding two more miracles in our arms.
There are two prayers in particular that standout to me, although I know that there were hundreds of prayers said for us. The first prayer was said by my parent's friend Steve, and I wasn't even there to witness it. Grami and Papaw told me later about the beautiful request laid out by Steve over a lunch out one Sunday. Specifically, Steve asked God to bless our family with a double portion, to return to us in double what we had lost. Grami told me after she found out about your brother and sister that when Steve prayed that prayer, her immediate thought was twins.
The second prayer was a prayer that was spoken by a co-worker named Connie one day. She lifted one hand in the air, put another hand on my shoulder, and boldly told God that she was claiming a blessing for me and Daddy. When I told her about Daddy and my plans to go to NYC a few months later, she smiled and said she just knew God was going to bless our trip in a big way.
In the shower this morning, I thought about how those prayers and your life shaped me. Because of you, I am a woman who understands loss and can offer comfort to others with similar heartbreak. Because of you, so many wonderful women have become friends. Because of you, my faith is stronger today then it was a year ago. Because of you, I am a mother who can see that 2 AM feedings and countless diaper changes are a true blessing. Because of you, I am a mother who knows how important it is to sing hymns of praise to my babies, take them to church, and tell them about Jesus and the cross.
Children change us. It doesn't matter whether we held them for a day, for ten thousand days, or never at all. Each and every child we've carried inside of us makes us a different person. Mothers of angels are aware of this every single day, but today the world recognizes it with us.
Love,
Mommy
