Moments with Morris: Empty Nest

Hi Sweetheart,

Our little baby birds have flown the nest. I came home from the lake last weekend to find the empty nest. I know Daddy is happy that he can use the front door again, but for me it was bittersweet to see those sweet baby birds go. It makes me smile though to think that they are getting to fulfill their life purpose now. I know they are soaring the sky and singing God's praises.

We had to toss your wreath along with the nest. After being home to 5 baby birds, it was pretty disgusting. It broke my heart to part with it. Gramy bought it for us just days after we came home from the hospital, and it has hung on our door ever since. I had planned to keep it up until your first birthday passed and then pull it out each year in February in your honor.

I find it hard to part with anything connected to you. Some things have sentimental value, and those things I'll hold on to forever. The soft gray blanket we wrapped you in. The little elephant with your name embroidered on its ear. The "Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You" book from Grammy that I read to you so often while I was pregnant. There are lots of things that I haven't been able to part with that don't don't carry any sentimental value with them. The small burial gown and heart-shaped pillow that we never used in the box sent home by the hospital. A book about death sent by the funeral home with your name embossed on the cover. The boxes that some of your things came in. The lid to a Trader Joe's Cookie Butter jar that has "For Baby Rankin" written on it (a gift from some friends to address a pregnancy craving).

I feel the need to hold on to everything of yours and anything related to you because it's all I have left of you. I won't have your favorite outfits, favorite toys, childhood artwork, or school projects to put in a memory box. These things are the only things I'll ever have. I said that to Daddy, and he reminded me, "You'll always have me." That made me feel a little better.

I've given our godson Jackson a few of your things. It doesn't hurt to part with the things that I'm giving to him because I know that they mean as much to his mommy as they do to me, and I know that she'll take good care of them. I've assembled a few of your toys and rockers, and we've brought them out for Jackson when he's visited. It makes me happy to see them used. I hope that one day God blesses us with a brother or sister for you that will get to use them too.

I found some artificial bluebonnet flowers online, and I'm going to see if they can be incorporated along with your monogram into a new wreath for the front door. I read that sometimes House Finches come back to nest in the same spot year after year, but my guess is that if Momma Finch comes back to our house next year she'll find a screen door has been installed. Maybe Daddy and I can build a nest box for the far end of the porch though. I'd love nothing more than to see Morris #2 hatch.

Love,

Mommy