Born Free

My Precious Son,

I don't believe in coincidences anymore. I used to use the word all the time to describe something seemingly random that happened at just the right time or just the right place. Now, I realize that there is nothing random or coincidental about God's work in our lives. A pastor I knew once called these things "God Sightings" - the recognition of the small, everyday miracles that God performs.

I have had so many God Sightings since you died. One is the sweet gift of the snow globe with the momma elephant and her baby inside that I told you about the other day. I didn't tell you the story of how I met the friend that gave me the gift. I hope she doesn't mind, but I want to share the story with you today. Her gift has proved more meaningful than she could have imagined (but not more meaningful than God imagined).

A few weeks ago, a leather bracelet that I gave Daddy from a well-known retailer of personalized items broke. I had ordered it for him the week that you passed away, and he wore it every single day, taking it off only at night and to shower. I knew how much it meant to him, and I was devastated that it broke.  

I wasn't sure that the retailer would do anything about it, but I contacted them anyway to ask. I sent a private message through their Facebook page with the order information and the meaning behind the bracelet. I received the most compassionate response from one of their employees - it literally brought me to tears. Over the course of the next day or so, Daddy and I picked out a new bracelet and the retailer shipped it to us overnight.

But I walked away from that transaction with more than just a happy resolution to my problem. I walked away with a new friend. Over the course of the few days, I learned that the employee helping me was experiencing her own life-changing loss. Her sweet husband (who happens to share the same name as Daddy) passed away only 2 short months before we connected. We began to share our stories and our pain.  We made an instant connection, and I invited her to personally friend me on Facebook so that we could encourage one another in the weeks and months to come. 

When I received her gift, I told her that one of the things I loved most about it was how the elephants are white and sparkling, as if they have been reunited in heaven. This morning, I went in your nursery and held the globe in my hands, studying the beautiful mother and baby inside. 

I wound up the globe and watched the elephants dance. The tune played sweetly, and it caught my ear as something recognizable although I couldn't place it.  There wasn't anything in the box to identify the tune, so I went online to see if I could find the name of it. When I found the page describing the globe, I burst into tears. The name of the tune is "Born Free" by John Barry. It is a classical score written for a movie of the same title.

It is a reminder that never gets old...you were born free. Free from sin. Free from pain. Free from heartbreak. You are free.  

A friend and I recently were talking about this same thing online. She gave birth to a stillborn son years ago, and her son's birthday is soon approaching. The pain is still there. We talked about a mother's ultimate sacrifice - the willingness to accept the pain and the heartache here on earth knowing that our child is being blessed in the presence of God. On our most faithful days, we are able to call it a blessing ourselves. 

That little baby elephant is a reminder that you are free. But even more of a reminder of freedom is that Momma elephant. I often think of freedom as something that I will get one day...on the day that I enter heaven. But that isn't true. I may not be free from pain and suffering in this lifetime, but I am still free: 

"For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do no submit again to the yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." 2 Corinthians 3:17 

"...our freedom that we have in Christ Jesus..." Galatians 2:4 

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." John 8:36 

"For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death." Romans 8:2

One day, I will be born into the complete freedom that you are blessed to already know...freedom from evil, suffering, pain and heartache. But until then, I will do my best to remember and be thankful for the freedom that I was born into on the day I asked Christ into my heart...freedom from fear, sin and death.

Love, 

Mommy

"Born Free", John Barry