Moments with Morris: Waiting in the Bluebonnet Field

My Sweet Son,

Your daddy and I are in Texas this week thanks to the generosity and hospitality of two wonderful friends. Just a few weeks after we said goodbye to you, this lovely couple invited us to come visit so we could get away. We didn't think we'd actually take them up on the offer, but they were persistent. I think they knew that getting away would do us some good. I'm glad that they convinced us to come; we've had a great time so far. They have been the most gracious hosts. There was an Easter basket waiting for us upon our arrival, and over the course of the last few days, we have enjoyed continental breakfasts, themed dinners, a 3-D movie and lots of great conversation.

We arrived in Texas on Saturday night, and our friends were kind enough to invite us to join them for an outdoor Easter service on Sunday morning. The church members handed out music sheets for the service, and I noticed right away that "How Great is Our God" was the closing song. I smiled through my tears when we sang your song, and I knew that we were meant to be here.

In the past few months, lots of things have become known as "Morris' such and such" to us. "How Great is Our God" is "Morris' song". Psalm 94:19 is known as "Morris' verse". Your Gramy recently painted her upstairs guest room in "Morris' gray" (the custom color we pained your nursery). And now, the Texas Bluebonnets are "Morris' flower". Let me share the Bluebonnets story.

Just two weeks or so after you passed away, I met a friend from church for lunch. During our conversation, my friend shared with me that she had dreamed a few nights earlier about a little brown-haired boy walking through a field of beautiful flowers. She said that she woke up and immediately knew that the little boy in the dream was you. She told me this story with a smile on her face, and I could tell that the dream had touched her. To be honest, in that moment, I was a little jealous that she had dreamed about you and I hadn't.

Fast forward to few weeks later. Just a day or so after we had booked our flights to Texas, the friend we were coming to visit sent me a text telling me that we were coming at the perfect time. He sent me a link, and when I opened it, I saw pictures of the most beautiful fields of blue flowers I had ever seen. It was a field of Texas Bluebonnets. I instantly thought of the dream that my friend had shared with me. Since then, I've read up on the Bluebonnets, and it is clear to me that God had a hand in our trip to Texas. The Bluebonnets bloom each year sometime between mid-March and mid-April. Even those who follow the flowers each year have a hard time predicting exactly when and where the fields will bloom, and there are websites dedicated to reporting a sighting. Once the Bluebonnets bloom, they stay pretty for only about 2 to 3 weeks max. Your daddy and I happen to be in Texas during peak Bluebonnet season.

Yesterday, your daddy and I drove from Houston to Austin. We saw small patches of Bluebonnets along our way, but when we finally spotted that first field full of blue flowers, I was overcome with emotion. We got out and stood with about a dozen other people who had also pulled off the road to get a closer look. After taking some pictures and spending a little while gazing at the flowers, we got back on the road. An hour or two later, we spotted rolling hills of blue from the highway. Your daddy got off the interstate and pulled onto a little country road. There wasn't a soul around...it was like we had found our own private Bluebonnet field. Aside from you, that field was the most breathtaking and magnificent thing I have ever laid eyes on. As I stood looking out into that gorgeous sea of blue, your little stuffed elephant in my arms, I could feel you with us. I pictured you, a beautiful little boy with a head full of brown hair and a smile like your daddy's, running through that field. It was such a spiritual moment for me, and I left that field with my soul renewed.

I've known all along that your daddy and I are going make it through losing you somehow. I believe that we will find happiness again. Your presence in the Bluebonnet field yesterday confirmed those feelings for me. It was proof that in every beautiful and meaningful moment in our lives, you'll be with us. I'd give anything to see you and hold you again, but until the day comes when we are reunited, meeting you in my dreams will have to do. So Morris, tonight, I'll be waiting for you in the Bluebonnet field.

Love,

Mommy

The first field of Bluebonnets, just before Brenham, TX on Rt. 290: