I've always loved holidays and the celebration, parties, and gifts they usually bring. It wasn't until I lost you that I realized just how painful holidays can be when you are missing someone you love. I know that like our family, a lot of families are brokenhearted today as they mourn a father-child relationship that has been lost. Whether the loss happened yesterday or years ago, it is fresh on our hearts and in our minds on days like today. It is a bittersweet day for many.
I've cried for weeks thinking about this approaching Father's Day. It is unfair, but people often forget about the bereaved father. When a child dies, the father is expected to be the strong one. I can't imagine the pressure that Daddy has been under these last few months as he has privately grieved for you while taking care of me. He has answered the question, "How is she doing?" countless times, and I know that it often hasn't been followed by a "How are you doing?" question. I appreciate and admire his strength, but I often wonder if Daddy feels he has any choice but to be strong.
Late last week, Daddy walked in through the garage door and asked, "Can I make your night?" He told me that after finishing up some chores outside, he went up to the front porch and peeked in Momma Bird's nest to find that the first of her little blue eggs had hatched. I may be the only person alive who has ever cried over both a crushed egg and a hatched egg. By Saturday, all of Momma Bird's babies - Morris, Adelin, Analise, Luke and Jameson - had hatched safely.
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| Morris, Adelin, Analise, Luke, and Jameson |
I did a little research to find out more about Momma Bird. I became interested in knowing more about her when I happened to see her and another bird fly out from the porch one day before the eggs had hatched. I discovered that she is a Brown House Finch, which is not all that surprising since House Finches are one of the most common birds in the US. What was surprising to me though is that the bird I spotted with her was Daddy Finch, and he is very involved in raising the nest.
Like most songbirds, House Finches are monogamous. Other types of male songbirds defend their nesting territory, but Daddy Finch is unique because he doesn't care about territory. He defends Momma Finch herself. Daddy Finch helps Momma Finch gather materials for their nest. He brings her food while she incubates the eggs and for several days after the babies hatch. As the baby birds mature, he helps Momma feed them and keep the nest clean. It is usually Daddy Finch, not Momma Finch, who stays with their babies in the last few days before they leave the nest.
There is tremendous symbolism and promise in this sweet Finch family for me. I threw away their first empty nest because of all the heartache associated with it, but their next empty nest will represent something entirely different. It is just a tiny nest, built to be only a temporary home, yet it holds so much love, hope, and resilience. If God cares so much for a little bird family that he would allow such beauty to come from their tragedy, surely he hears my broken prayers for our family (Matthew 6:26).
Today is a bittersweet day, but it is a day that we will still celebrate. Happy Father's Day to Daddy, Papaw, and all of the other amazing fathers in our lives - including Daddy Finch.
Love,
Mommy
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