Legacy

Sweet Baby,

It's been a long time since I've written you. It's harder now than it used to be - I rarely have time to myself, and when I do, I tend to enjoy a cup of coffee and relax.

Our Finch family is back!  We spotted them the first time in Spring of 2015, just a few months after you were gone, when Momma Finch built a nest in your special Morris wreath on our front door.  A few weeks later, we celebrated when five sweet baby birds hatched.  I was sad that we had to throw away your wreath (the baby birds had distroyed it), but I was happy knowing that Momma Finch had gotten her family.  Since Finches tend to return to the same spot each year, we removed the wreath from our front door last Spring.  But I forgot this year, and to my surprise, I opened the door the other night and Momma Finch flew out.  She has 4 little eggs snuggled safely in her nest this year.

It seems silly to tell you that a rush of emotion hit me when I realized she had rebuilt her nest in our wreath.  It's weird how something like that just takes you back to what you were feeling at some long ago time. This Finch family represented so much hope for me in 2015, and I felt so grateful to watch them experience a second chance at happiness.  They gave me hope that one day we might see the joy restored to our own family, and by the grace of God, we did.

Barbara Bush, former First Lady, passed away last week. She was an amazing lady, one who understood the depths of grief that come from losing a piece of yourself.  She lost her daughter Robin, just three years old, to leukemia in 1953.  Barbara talked about Robin often over the years.  Grami shared this quote from her with me:

"The death of a child is so painful, both emotionally and spiritually, that I truly wondered if my own heart and spirit would ever heal...I soon learned that I could help myself best by helping others...it wasn't until Robin died that I truly threw myself into volunteer work.  That precious little girl left our family a great legacy: I know George and I care more for every living person because of her.  We learned firsthand the importance of reaching out to help because others had reached out to us during that critical time."

Barbara Bush was a beatiful and inspiring woman.

Last week, Daddy and I took Baylor & Griffin on an early morning walk in the neighborhood then decided that we should go get breakfast.  We went to a small diner down the street that makes everything homemade and only accepts cash (pretty uncommon in today's world).  As we walked towards an empty booth, someone I knew caught my eye. She was a mother in the Pregnancy Centering Group I participated in when I was pregnant with you.  Her daughter, born not long after you, was sitting beside her.  We exchanged hello's, and as we sat down at the booth next to them, Daddy asked me how I knew her.  Suddenly, my eyes filled with tears and I couldn't get the words out.  In that moment, all I could think was that you should be in the booth with us.  Our Saturday morning breakfast should have come with a fifth placesetting.

This happened before Barbara Bush passed away, but hearing of her death has made me reflect more.  The former First Lady carried her grief for 65 years.  Sixty-five years that her daughter Robin wasn't there to blow out her birthday candles.  Sixty-five Christmases without gifts under the tree for Robin.  Sixty-five years spent with a deep longing and wondering of what would have been...and thousands of breakfasts with a missing placesetting. The thought of living with grief that deep for that long is soul-crushing.  Yet, I look at your sweet brother and sister, and I hope that I am lucky enough to do the same. Even more, I hope that we leave a legacy for you through helping others in the same way that Barbara Bush left one for Robin.

Today Grami and I will be walking in your memory at the Sadie Rose 5k.  As you watch from above, I hope you know how much you are loved and missed.  I think Barbara said it best when she said, "Robin to me is a joy. She's like an angel to me; she's not a sadness or a sorrow." I feel the same way about you, sweet Morris.

Love,

Mommy

Rest in Peace, Barbara Bush. I am crying tears of joy for your sweet, longawaited reunion with Robin.