Moments with Morris: A Thousand Years

Hi Baby Boy,

Sorry it's been over a week since I've written. Sometimes I don't have any words other than I miss you and I love you. I don't want to sound like a broken record in my letters to you, so I wait for something else to say. I woke up this morning feeling like I needed to talk to you, so I thought I would tell you about our weekend.

Saturday Daddy and I went to our first JMU tailgate of the season. Before we left that morning, it occurred to me that I wanted to get a picture with your elephant in front of the Duke Dog statue to mark what should have been your first game. As I've said before, it is easier for me if I acknowledge your absence in these moments rather than suffer silently with all the should-have-been's rolling around in my head. I thought Daddy might think it was weird for me to bring your elephant to the game, so I discreetly packed it in my purse and figured I'd wait until we got to campus to say anything. When we arrived and I told him my plan though, he got a big smile on his face and said he was glad I had thought to bring our reminder of you. The friends we rode with were also supportive. I'm blessed to have family and friends that validate my feelings instead of making me feel like I might be going crazy.

Uncle Dustin and Aunt Becca came to the game too. Later in the day, the three of us walked to the bookstore. We were in the kids section, picking out a t-shirt for your cousin Ava, when Aunt Becca found a small stuffed elephant in a t-shirt that read "Someone at JMU loves me." I knew that it was the perfect gift for our friend Jamie to remind her of you and to thank her for being such an amazing friend to us. I hope it brings her comfort when she looks at it, just like my Morris elephant does for me.

On Sunday, Daddy and I went back to church for the first time in a long time. My faith has certainly gotten stronger in all of this, but going to church has been hard. I sing along to songs on the radio during the week, but when we sing those same songs at church it's like the words go straight to my heart. It can be emotionally draining. Our church recently changed its name from Blue Ridge Christian Church to Bridge Christian Church, and oddly enough, that is what makes me feel like it is the right time to go back. I've changed in the last several months too. It seems like a new beginning for both of us.

After church, Aunt Becca and I went to a food truck competition put on by a local charity, The MaDee Project. It was a beautiful day and a fun event. The MaDee Project was founded in memory of MaDee Boxler and her battle with pediatric cancer. The foundation raises money and provides support for pediatric cancer patients and their families. Over 2,000 people in our community came out to support the cause. After I got home from the event, I started reading MaDee's book "Dancing in the Rain". I'm only half-way through it, but MaDee's beautiful story of love, courage, and strength has brought me to tears several times already.

Monday was a holiday. Daddy had to work, so I decided to work too and take Friday off instead. Grami and I have plans to go shopping. Since I was the only one in the office on Monday, I put on Pandora and turned up the music while I worked. Late in the day, a song came on that brought tears to my eyes. It is a love song from a movie soundtrack, and it's meant to describe the love between a couple really, but it perfectly describes how I feel about you:

"I have died every day

waiting for you.

Darlin' don't be afraid

I have loved you

for a thousand years.

I'll love you

for a thousand more.

And all along I believed

I would find you.

Time has brought

your heart to me.

I have loved you