My Tiny Valentine

My tiny Valentine,

Your Gramy bought you this book not long after we told her about you.  It was your very first book.  I never dreamed when I was reading it to you all those times that our love would have to reach up to heaven to find you.

Your daddy told me the other night that he never knew it was possible to miss someone that you got to spend such little time with so very much.  I know exactly what he means. This longing to see you and to hold you again...I know that it will never go away.  You were inside of me for 8 short months and in my arms for only hours, but you will be in my heart forever.

When your daddy and I got married, we had a reading of 1 Corinthians 13 at our wedding ceremony.   Your Aunt Becca sang a song called "Love Never Fails" that was based on the same chapter of the Bible. These verses have been read at almost every wedding ceremony I've ever attended, and they are some of the most well-known verses of all time, yet I don't think I really understood how important these words were until now:

"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.  If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.  Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."  1 Corinthians 13:1-8

It would be so easy for your daddy and I to be bitter, to assign blame, and to withdrawal from the world and everyone in it.  Don't get me wrong - there are moments when we are angry that you are gone, when we wish there was someone or something to blame, and when we want to just be alone in our grief - and these moments will continue to come.  But we also know that living our lives this way won't bring you back nor will it bring honor to your life.

People have told us that we are so strong, but that strength doesn't come from us.  It comes from the love and support we've received from so many.  It comes from our Heavenly Father.  And last but certainly not least, it comes from the love we share for you.  Morris, you are the best thing that ever happened to us. There are so many things that we will never get to do for you or with you, but one thing we can do is live in a way that brings purpose and light to your short life.  You deserve that much and more, so we will love each other and the world in a way that makes you proud.

As you look down on us from above on this Valentine's Day, I hope you remember this:

"You are my angel, my darling, my star...and my love will find you wherever you are."

Love,

Mommy